The Romantic Astonishment
by NerdForestGirl
Summary: Raj meets a man named Dr. Lincoln Hart while at a bar. He is instantly attracted to him, but he's also afraid of what his friends and family will think.
1. Chapter 1

Raj wasn't sure if the guy down the bar was looking at him or _looking_ at him. That was until the guy with the perfect teeth and the jet black hair and the chocolate eyes—not that Raj was paying attention to all of that—came over to offer to buy him a drink.

"Hi. Can I get you another grasshopper? I'm Lincoln," the guy said as he approached Raj.

"Oh. I'm not- I mean, I don't- I'm not gay," Raj stammered.

"That's okay. I'm waiting for a friend, and I don't mind buying drinks for straight guys," Lincoln said with a smile that made Raj's heart beat a little faster in his chest.

Raj wanted to let the incredibly cute guy buy him a drink. If Raj was being honest with himself, which he very rarely did, he wanted to flirt back. Raj had always held back a certain attraction for men. He didn't lie. He wasn't gay. But Raj couldn't as confidently state that he wasn't bisexual. He hadn't ever actually done anything with a man. Well, he didn't count that time he made out with his roommate's best friend when he was in college.

Lincoln could see that Raj was really conflicted.

"Seriously, man. It's just a drink and maybe a little conversation until my friend gets here. Though it's also okay if you want to turn me down. I don't want to give that cute little head of yours an aneurysm," Lincoln said with another dazzling smile. Normally Lincoln would have walked away already, but this guy was so cute in his little sweater vest. And he hadn't strictly said no yet.

"Sure. I'll have another grasshopper," Raj finally acquiesced.

Lincoln signaled the bartender for two more drinks before sitting on the stool next to Raj.

"I'm Raj Koothrappali," Raj said as he held out his hand to shake Lincoln's.

"Nice to meet you, Raj," Lincoln said. "I'm really digging your sweater vest, and I promise that will be the last compliment I give you. I'm not trying to make things weird. It just caught my eye."

"Thanks," Raj said sadly. It didn't bother him that Lincoln liked his sweater in the least. In fact, it was the nicest thing anyone had said to him all day. Emily seemed unsure if she actually wanted him, and Claire hadn't taken his calls in weeks. He understood why when he saw Claire and Zack out on the town. This was the closest bar he could find. He suddenly wondered if this was a gay bar. He looked around, and nothing indicated that it was.

"Why did that make you sad?"

"It wasn't you. I saw my ex out with her new boyfriend like an hour ago," Raj admitted.

"Oh. I'm sorry," Lincoln said.

"Thanks. So, Lincoln, what is it that you do?" Raj asked his new friend. He wanted to change the subject desperately, but nearly chastised himself for the boring question.

"Oh. I hate that question. Everyone says that my job sounds interesting until I start describing it. Then I lose them in about ten seconds."

"Try me anyway," Raj said before taking a sip of the bright green drink that just appeared in front of him.

"I'm an astrobiologist, and no that isn't made up, and no I have not found aliens," Lincoln started.

"Shut up," Raj said. "Where do you work?"

"That's not normally a response that I get. I was working up at Berkley, but I am down at UCLA for a year," Lincoln said. He was a little curious about Raj's response. It really was very different than anything else he normally got in response to speaking of his work.

"I'm an astrophysicist at Cal Tech," Raj said excitedly. "Wait. You aren't Dr. Lincoln Hart, are you? I read your paper last month. It was genius."

Lincoln smiled that dazzling, bright smile again. He could never reject such a compliment. Especially not when it came from a cute astrophysicist. Then it clicked.

"I knew Koothrappali sounded familiar. Cal Tech of course."

Raj had to look away from that smile after a moment. He stared into his drink, and tried to control his thoughts. At the moment, he wanted to press his slightly buzzed lips to those of the gorgeous scientist who wanted to buy him a drink.

Lincoln chatted on to Raj now that he was sure that the man was smart enough to follow. Raj still didn't follow. Instead he listened to the baritone notes of Lincoln's voice and stared at his lips. Considering Raj was supposed to be the one without an attraction to males, he was certainly having a lot of trouble not thinking about kissing. He downed the second half of his grasshopper and leaned forward. Raj pressed his lips to Lincoln's while he was still mid-sentence. Lincoln's lips tasted of whiskey, and the stubble on his face scratched Raj. He loved every second of it.

"Whoa," Lincoln said as he pushed Raj away. "I know I'm the one who started this, but I'm not really a kiss on the first date kind of guy."

"I'm sorry," Raj said. He was shaking in fear. He had just kissed this guy who he barely knew. He had no idea what had come over him. It would be easier if he didn't desperately want to do it again.

"I'll forgive you this time. Next time, maybe buy me dinner. Actually speak back to me before going in for the kiss," Lincoln said.

Raj just nodded. His face burned with embarrassment. He wasn't entirely sure if he would throw up, but that might have been the alcohol or the fear instead.

"You're cute, Raj. My friend just came in, but I'm going to give you my number. No pressure, but give me a call if you want to go out sometime," Lincoln said as he wrote his phone number down on a napkin. He handed it to Raj who was still shaking. "It's okay. No pressure," Lincoln said again. Then he walked away and hugged a tall woman who had just come through the door.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I'm playing around with non-linear storytelling, so I'm not short changing you on more about Raj and Lincoln getting together. That will come next chapter.**

 _Five months later..._

"So, do you know anything about Raj's new girlfriend?" Penny asked Leonard as she put out a pile of napkins on the table. She thought it was strange that he wanted only her and Leonard to meet his new girl. He had clearly been pretty enamored with her for a while, and this was the longest he had gone without introducing a girlfriend to the whole group.

"Nothing. I don't even know her name. All I know is that she's an astrobiologist at UCLA," Leonard said.

"Does Howard know anything?"

"Nothing. For some reason Raj has been playing this one close to the sweater vest," Leonard smiled at his own joke, and Penny justifiably rolled her eyes.

That's when there was a knock on the door. Penny ran over to answer it.

"Hi, Sweetie," Penny said. Then she stopped talking. Obviously Raj was there, but instead of a girl, there was a tall, handsome man.

"Hi," Raj said nervously. He had meant to tell Leonard so many times that he was bringing his _boyfriend_ to dinner, but it was like his selective mutism had come back. The words wouldn't come no matter how hard he tried.

"I'm Lincoln, Raj's boyfriend," Lincoln said. He could feel the awkwardness in the air. He was practically choking on it, but he was also a nice boy who was raised to be polite. Also he was beyond proud that Raj was standing here next to him.

"Raj's boyfriend," Penny repeated. "Honey, did you hear that? Raj's boyfriend, Lincoln," Penny added to her husband.

"Yeah. It's great to finally meet you. I'd say that I've heard so much about you, but honestly, he's been pretty tight lipped. Still, I know you have to be a great guy because Raj has never been this happy in all of the time I've known him," Leonard said as he walked forward to shake Lincoln's hand.

"Thank you. May we come in?" Lincoln said.

Penny shook her head at herself, suddenly remembering her manners. "Of course. Can I get you something to drink?"

"A glass of wine. Red if you have any," Lincoln requested. When Raj didn't say anything, he asked, "Baby? Do you want anything?"

"Same," Raj muttered. He still wasn't looking up at his friends. And he wasn't able to reach out for Lincoln's hand as much as he wanted the lifeline. Lincoln was out to all of his friends and family, but he had come out when he was a teenager. He was the only person in the room who knew what this felt like. Lincoln tapped the back of Raj's hand with his own like it was an accidental bump, but Raj knew he was trying to lend him strength.

When Penny and Leonard were in the kitchen alone, she turned to him and whispered, "Did you know? You were so relaxed just now."

"No. He said he was dating someone, but I realize that he never actually used the word girl, woman, or girlfriend. Maybe that's why it wasn't a surprise to me." Leonard had always had suspicions about Raj's sexuality. It wasn't his business. Or maybe he just wanted to avoid the awkward conversation.

Penny nodded and poured a couple of glasses of wine. Then she went back to her guests to hand them their drinks.

"So, we know you work at UCLA, but we know very little else. How did you two meet?" Penny asked. She had regained her composure, and was back to being her friendly self.

"I picked Raj up at a bar. He was wearing the cutest sweater vest and drinking a grasshopper. He also looked really sad, so I went over to offer him another drink. Then it took him nearly a month to call me," Lincoln said with obvious fondness in his eyes despite the small, playful shove he gave Raj. Raj still looked scared and Lincoln wanted to put his arm around him. If they were alone that's exactly what he would do, but Raj was touchy about physical affection in public. This wasn't public, but it might as well be.

"A month? That's a long time to keep a man waiting, Raj," Penny teased. "You're lucky he didn't move on and find someone else in that time. He's handsome. You would have missed out."

"I know," Raj said. He finally let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding. He wasn't sure if Leonard and Penny were being nice because they didn't want to make a scene in front of Lincoln or if they were actually just okay with him dating a man. They were the first people he had come out to.

"Lincoln, can you give us a moment?" Raj asked his boyfriend.

"Yeah. Of course. I needed to use the restroom anyway," Lincoln said.

"It's through there," Penny said gesturing to the back of the apartment. Lincoln left the three alone.

"Why didn't you say anything, sweetie? Have you told anyone?" Penny asked Raj. She reached out and put a comforting hand on Raj's knee.

"No. I wanted to tell you all so many times. I love him, and he makes me so happy," Raj said. It was actually the first time he had said those words out loud. He hadn't even told Lincoln that he loved him. It was freeing to say those words. It was the first time that he really felt honest.

"Okay. Good. Well, we were shocked that you brought a guy over without ever mentioning it, but we love you and want you to be happy, right, Leonard?"

"Yeah, of course."

"Tell us more about him? You really took a month to call him?" Penny asked.

"I was drunk when we met and I kissed him that first night. I was terrified that I would come on too strong. I was worried about what my friends and family would think. I still am worried about that. But I couldn't stop thinking about him. I stalked him on Facebook for a while before I called," Raj started telling them.

"You two are really cute together. We support you, sweetie," Penny said.

"Absolutely," Leonard said. He meant it. He supported Raj's relationship because he loved Raj, but also because he hadn't been lying. These last four months, Raj had seemed lighter and happier than Leonard had ever seen him. That is other than when Raj was being cagey about his new relationship.

"Honey? Do you need more time?" Lincoln called from the back of the apartment.

"No. Come here. I'm going to tell them about our first date," Raj said. He reached his hand out for Lincoln when he came closer. Lincoln put his hand in Raj's, and felt so much relief. Raj wasn't often comfortable with even low key affection in front of others. Whatever Leonard and Penny had said must have put him at ease. Lincoln squeezed Raj's hand as he started telling the story.


	3. Chapter 3

Raj stared at the crumpled napkin. If he folded and unfolded it one more time, the number would be lost to him forever. It had been nearly a month since Raj had met Dr. Lincoln Hart, and in that time, the man had barely left his head once. Raj's relationship with Emily had disintegrated, so he was single once again. Not that Raj wanted to go on a date with Dr. Hart. Maybe they could just meet for drinks to talk about work. Yes. That's what he would say when he called.

"Dr. Hart? This is Rajesh Koothrappali," Raj said formally when Lincoln answered the phone.

"Oh, Raj. I thought I would never hear from you," Lincoln said brightly.

Raj wasn't sure how to feel about the unadulterated pleasure that Lincoln's tone expressed. Maybe this was a mistake. Maybe he should have never called. Then he thought of Lincoln's deep eyes and perfect teeth, and he thought about how much he had thought about those things. One drink would be okay.

"Yes. Well, I was wondering if you would like to have a drink with me on Friday. We could discuss work," Raj suggested.

"That sounds great. I know just the place," Lincoln said.

"No gay bars!" Raj shouted into his phone.

"No gay bars. Okay. I wasn't planning on it anyway, but that's okay," Lincoln said in a calming tone. He didn't know why he enjoyed Raj so much. He had been over the idea of dating a guy in the closet for a long time. It could be exhausting to have to hide a part of who he was. Still, there was something about Raj that he couldn't shake. The disappointment when he first didn't call lingered for days.

"I know a great place that's kind of quiet, so we can talk," Lincoln told Raj. They made plans to meet on Friday at eight.

When Friday rolled around, Raj was so nervous he was sweating through his shirt and his sweater vest. He wanted to talk to his friends about all of this, but he had no idea how to. He couldn't explain that he was nervous meeting with someone else in his field for drinks, and it wasn't a date. It was not a date. No. Just a friendly meeting. Still, he was tempted to cancel. He was debating it internally when Howard broke his thoughts.

"You look like you are about to puke," Howard said.

"I'm a little under the weather," Raj admitted. It was almost the truth.

"Please leave the table," Sheldon said as he pulled a bottle of hand sanitizer from his bag and liberally covered his hands with it. Then he put a napkin over his mouth and nose.

"I think I'm going to just go home early," Raj said. He stood and threw his uneaten food in the trash and left the cafeteria. Part of him was kicking himself for not just coming clean about it. They were his friends. He was almost sure they would just roll with it. Unless they didn't. It was that small piece of uncertainty that drilled away at his thoughts and left him unable to tell his friends. Plus this was probably going to just be drinks with a friend. Maybe there was no reason to start sharing with his friends just yet.

Raj went home and labored over what to wear. Eventually, he put together an outfit that looked a lot like what he would wear on a date. He had a nice maroon button down shirt and a silk and wool vest over it with a tie. He had to admit that he looked rather handsome. Now, so long as he could manage to not sweat through it before he met Lincoln.

Lincoln had suggested a little tea shop that also served an array of cocktails. Raj got there fifteen minutes early, but waited in his car until he saw Lincoln go in. Lincoln looked breathtaking even from Raj's hiding spot in his car. Lincoln was wearing nice fitting slacks and a blue shirt that made his lightly tanned skin glow. Raj waited another ten minutes to get up the courage to join him.

"Hi," Lincoln said when Raj walked in. He walked over and shook his hand.

"Hi," Raj said nervously. He looked up through his lashes and gave Lincoln a coy smile. Lincoln was just as handsome as Raj remembered.

"I know I don't know you that well, but are you always so nervous? I won't bite. I promise," Lincoln said.

"Yeah. I am. Well, not this nervous. You make me nervous," Raj said. Then he covered his mouth. He wasn't supposed to say that. He hoped his blush wouldn't show. Normally it wouldn't, but his face was burning like it might catch something on fire.

"A good nervous I hope," Lincoln tried. Raj nodded, but didn't risk opening his mouth on this subject again.

The pair ordered some drinks—Raj stuck to tea—and started talking about work. It was an easy and safe subject to start with, and Raj was struck by how brilliant Lincoln was in real life. As much as knew Lincoln's reputation, it was good, but Lincoln was quick and funny.

Raj was still nervous as he spoke to Lincoln, but it changed from being worried what people might think to butterflies in his stomach. He liked Lincoln, but at least without the alcohol of their last meeting, he could focus on more than kissing. As the topics changed to hobbies and other interests, Raj found that he had a lot in common with Lincoln.

Lincoln's mother was Chinese and his father was British, so they shared stories about parents who didn't always get American culture—though Lincoln was born and raised in the States. They both had strong groups of friends. They both had animals that they adored, though Raj tried to be forgiving that Lincoln was a cat person.

"You have a band?" Lincoln asked with a laugh.

"I do. Don't laugh. We rock," Raj said with a rock and roll hand gesture.

"I'd love to see you play," Lincoln admitted.

"We don't have any shows coming up, but I can show you a video," Raj offered. He pulled up a video on his phone to show Lincoln. By the time the video ended, Lincoln was laughing so hard that he couldn't breathe. Somehow instead of feeling hurt, Raj was laughing too. Raj got the impression that Lincoln couldn't really be mean even if he tried. This was the best not date he had been on in a really long time.

"I should get going. It's almost eleven," Lincoln said. "I would love to do this again sometime," he added.

"That would be great," Raj said, and he meant it. Separating was always the most awkward part. Should they shake hands again? Should they hug? They stood and walked to Raj's car.

"Great. I'll call you early next week when I have a better idea of my schedule," Lincoln said. Then he leaned down and kissed Raj on the cheek. Raj blushed at the action, but after he looked around to make sure no one witnessed it, he was pleased.

"Bye," Raj said. He was blissful, and he smiled all the way home. He hadn't liked someone this much in... well, ever.


	4. Chapter 4

The morning after his couples' night with Penny, Raj, and Lincoln, Leonard was dreading going into work a little. He didn't want to face questioning from Howard and to a lessor extent Sheldon about Raj's new girlfriend. Raj didn't say that he couldn't tell them about Lincoln, but it seemed like that news should come from Raj himself.

Overall, it had been a great night. Leonard could understand why Raj liked Lincoln so much. They were a good match, and it was a lot less weird than Leonard would have suspected if he had been told that he was going to learn that one of his friends was gay.

No. Raj wasn't gay. He made that point very clear. Raj was bi. He had always been legitimately into the girls he dated before now. He just also like men. He hadn't been hiding by dating women until now.

"How was dinner with Raj and his new girlfriend?" Howard ask as soon as he saw Leonard at lunch. Sheldon was barely paying attention to the conversation.

"Dinner was good. We all had fun. Raj seems happy," Leonard said. He wondered how Raj had gotten through four months of not saying "she" or "her."

"Tell me what she's like," Howard said. He was a little annoyed that Leonard had met Raj's new girlfriend before he had. Of course Howard had been really busy with the baby lately. It made a little sense.

"Tall, brown eyes, good looking..," Leonard said. He didn't know what to say. He didn't like lying to Howard. Maybe he should just tell Howard that Raj was dating a man. Maybe he would be doing Raj a favor. Then he changed his mind because Raj joined the table.

"Leonard was just telling me about your big dinner last night," Howard said to Raj. Raj's eyes went wide. He didn't tell Leonard not to say anything, but he assumed that Leonard would keep the secret.

"Yeah?" Raj asked with a quiver in his voice.

"Yeah. Leonard says she's good looking. Why haven't we seen a photo yet?" Howard asked.

Raj breathed a sigh of relief that Leonard hadn't spilled his secret. Still, he had decided that it was time to come clean with all of his friends about this. He pulled out his phone and pulled up a picture of him and Lincoln at the theater a couple weeks earlier. He pushed it over to Howard.

"She looks like a guy," Howard said stupidly.

"He is a guy. His name is Dr. Lincoln Hart, and he's my boyfriend," Raj admitted.

"What? You've been dating a man? You have a boyfriend?" Howard got up from the table and walked away. Raj could feel his heart breaking. After Leonard and Penny had been so thoughtful the night before, Raj hoped that all of his friends might be so understanding. Howard was his best friend, and he hoped that he would be happy for him.

Raj held in his tears as he picked up his phone and also left the table.

"Aren't you shocked?" Leonard asked Sheldon who was still just playing on his phone.

"No. Amy and I saw them at the movies last week. Amy says they are a cute couple. I think that Dr. Hart could do better," Sheldon said.

"You knew about this last week? Why didn't you say anything?" Leonard asked.

"Amy said that it wasn't anyone else's business. I agreed with her," Sheldon said.

Leonard actually couldn't argue with that. He was trying to keep Raj's secret for him too because it was up to Raj whom he told.

Raj thought about going to find Howard, but decided to just go back to his office. Even if Howard was going to be okay with all of this, he still might want some time to think. Instead Raj sent a text to Lincoln to tell him about what happened. Lincoln called him right away.

"Baby, I'm sorry it didn't go as well as last night," Lincoln said as soon as Raj picked up the phone. "We all have stumbling blocks, and from what you've told me, this Howard really does care about you."

"I know he does. It just hurts that he didn't accept me for who I am. Is there any chance I can talk you into coming over after work? I don't want to be alone tonight," Raj said.

"Of course, baby. I'll make you dinner," Lincoln offered.

"Oh, please, no," Raj said. Lincoln was a terrible cook. He knew it, so he just laughed.

"Okay. You can make me dinner. I'll clean up."

"I'll see you later. Love you, Link," Raj said. He was the only one who was allowed to call Lincoln that because Lincoln had been tormented in his youth by teasing about Legend of Zelda.

"Love you too," Lincoln said. It was only after he hung up the phone did he realize that it was the first time Raj had said it. Lincoln had a giddy moment that involved a giant grin and stomping his feet a little.

Raj tried to work, but he mostly just worried. He worried that his best friend might never talk to him again. He worried that now that some people knew that he was dating a man, it might get back to his family. All of it scared him so much that he eventually decided to go home for the rest of the day. Maybe he could hide in his bed with Lincoln and never face the world again.

Raj stopped by the grocery store on his way home. Could the people there tell that he was buying supplies to make his boyfriend dinner? He had no idea. Maybe people had always been able to tell that he was different.

When Raj got home, he put away all of the groceries before straightening up. He had just started making dinner when there was a knock at the door. Raj couldn't wait to see Lincoln. The day had been long, so he opened the door, ready to be wrapped in a tight hug that would put all of his pieces back together.

Instead it was Howard and Bernadette and the baby.

"I'm sorry about how I reacted earlier," Howard said.

"Did you make him come apologize?" Raj asked Bernadette.

"No. I came along to make sure you were okay. He wanted to apologize on his own," Bernadette said. They were all starting to walk into Raj's apartment when someone else showed up behind them.

"Hey, baby. Is everything okay?" Lincoln said. He had flowers in his hand for Raj.

"Hi. Lincoln, these are my friends Howard and Bernadette. Guys, this is my boyfriend, Lincoln," Raj said. He hadn't planned on introducing them, but it was easier than he thought. The words just fell from his mouth as easily as saying hello.

"Hi," Lincoln said. He wondered if he should leave, but he didn't want to unless Raj asked him to.

"Can we talk alone?" Howard asked.

"Sure," Raj said. They went into Raj's bedroom, and left Lincoln with Bernadette and the baby. Lincoln was cooing the baby and asked if he could hold her. Bernadette agreed and handed her over. She wasn't one to hand her child over to strangers, but Lincoln was almost part of the family even if they had never met.

Raj closed the door and turned toward Howard.

"I am sorry about how I reacted this morning. I don't care if you are gay. We've all had our suspicions over the years," Howard started.

"I'm not gay," Raj said.

"You are dating a guy."

"I am bi. I always have been. I like women and men," Raj explained. He didn't care so much about the labels, but he didn't want people to think he had been living a secret life sleeping with men all these years. His relationships with women were valid just like his relationship with Lincoln was.

"Okay. I don't care if you are bi, but I care that you kept this from me. For months. I know I haven't been around as much with the baby and everything, but it hurts that you didn't trust me to tell me that you were dating a man. And when you did decide to start telling everyone, you told Leonard and Penny first," Howard said.

"I was worried about telling you because I was scared you would hate me. I care about Leonard and Penny, but you are my best friend. I was so worried you wouldn't want to speak to me anymore," Raj said as tears started coming down his face.

Howard had never really had to worry about something like that. Yes, he was a little worried that his mother would be upset when he married a nice Catholic girl, but his friends already knew Bernadette. They loved her. Maybe he could try to understand that Raj would be worried that he would lose everything for love.

"We would never. I guess I can try to understand it though. Did you know that Sheldon found out last week?" Howard asked. "We all love you, and we want you to be happy," he added seriously.

"That was Sheldon and Amy at the movie theater," Raj said in realization. He hadn't gotten any sleep that night, worried that Sheldon would tell everyone. He figured it must have been someone else when a few days had gone by without anyone saying anything.

"Everyone knows now. You should bring him to family dinner this week," Howard said.

"My food," Raj suddenly said. He had forgotten that he had started cooking, and ran out of the bedroom. Bernadette was stirring the food on the stove while Lincoln played with the baby. Everything was fine. It would keep being fine.

Raj just started crying at the scene. Lincoln handed the baby to Howard and pulled Raj into his arms. He wondered if he should deck Howard, but decided that he should wait to find out what happened. Or at least wait until Howard wasn't holding the baby.

"They love me anyway," Raj sobbed into Lincoln's chest.

"Of course they do. You aren't broken or wrong. You are cute and funny and a very good cook. Who wouldn't love you?" Lincoln said as he rubbed Raj's back. He was glad he hadn't punched Howard. All of this was more stressful on Raj than Lincoln understood before that moment.

Howard and Bernadette stayed long enough to make sure that Raj was okay. He offered them dinner, but they said they needed to get the baby home.

"But you should bring him to family dinner on Sunday. We need to get to know to the man who has your heart," Bernadette said echoing Howard's earlier statement.


	5. Chapter 5

That night, Raj was in bed with Lincoln. Lincoln was fast asleep faced away from Raj. Raj was lightly drawing patterns on Lincoln's bare back. It wasn't enough to wake him, but Raj enjoyed touching the expanse of bare skin. Raj thought about how he had gotten himself into all of this.

Lincoln had barely waited a night before he called Raj to set up another date after their first one.

"I know I said I would call at the beginning of next week, but I can't wait. I like you, Raj," he said in the voicemail he left for Raj early Saturday morning. Raj was awake and saw the call. He was just too scared to take it. He liked Lincoln too, but his bliss from the night before faded. Now Raj was left with the scary feeling liking someone new plus the scary feeling like he might be making a terrible mistake.

Raj didn't call Lincoln back. Not that Saturday, nor Sunday or Monday. He felt guilty as he listened to the more and more dejected sounding voicemails left by Lincoln. Until they stopped. Then Raj just felt another kind of terrible. Now he had managed to break both of their hearts. Raj wanted to be with Lincoln, but he wasn't brave enough.

On Tuesday, Raj was drinking alone after work. He got up some courage and took out his phone to call Lincoln.

"Hey, sexy man," Raj slurred into the phone when Lincoln answered.

"What do you want, Raj?" Lincoln asked. He didn't want to play these games with Raj. Sure he liked him, but all of this was hurting him too much.

"I want you to come over and make out with me. You make me so happy and I'm so drunk. You could come take advantage of me," Raj slurred.

"I'll pass, but let me ask you a question first. If I make you 'so happy' why do you keep dodging my calls?"

"Because I'm not supposed to like you. You could cost me everything. My parents money. My friends. My family. I'm not supposed to like you," he repeated. "But I do. So much it hurts," he added quietly after a second.

"Oh, honey. Where are you?" Lincoln asked.

"I'm at home," Raj said. Then he railed off his address. Maybe Lincoln was coming over after all. Then he passed out on his own kitchen floor.

He didn't know how much later it was that he was aware of a vague knocking somewhere far away. Then it became louder until Raj just made a noise that was either a groan or the words "go away."

Lincoln didn't go away. He tried the door and it opened. He quickly found Raj lying on the floor of his kitchen.

"An angel," Raj muttered when he looked up at Lincoln. He reached up to touch Lincoln's face but missed.

"I'm certainly not one of those. How much did you have to drink?" Lincoln pulled Raj up off the floor and took him to the couch. He sat him down, but Raj just fell over.

"Everything," Raj mumbled. "Are you going to take advantage of me? Would you please take advantage of me?"

"No. I'm going to get you some water and a puke bucket," Lincoln said. He didn't know why he was so fond of this nerd. He would have given up on anyone else a long time ago.

"The second one first please," Raj requested as he covered his mouth with his hand. Lincoln returned with a large bowl just in time. He stroked Raj's hair as he threw up.

"Thanks," Raj said. Then he lay back on the couch and passed back out.

When Raj woke up, he wished he was dead. His head was killing him, and he had a vague sense that he had done something incredibly stupid the night before. This was confirmed when he sat up and saw an very handsome man with eyes that were closed in sleep, but Raj knew were the exact color of his favorite dark chocolate.

"Lincoln," Raj barely whispered. It was enough. Lincoln sat straight up and looked at Raj. "Did I call you last night?"

"You did," Lincoln said. He was waiting for Raj to tell him to get the hell out. It was clear that Raj just wasn't ready for a relationship with a man.

"I'm so sorry. I should have never called you. I can't believe you came over," Raj said.

"You didn't sound like you were in a great place," Lincoln said.

"Yeah. I wasn't. I'm not," Raj admitted. "Your lips are beautiful," he added after a second. He guessed that he was still a little drunk because he wouldn't normally say something like that. No matter how incredibly true it was.

"Do you want me to stay or should I go home?" Lincoln asked. He put his fingers to his lips. No one had ever complimented them specifically before.

"You should probably go. It's a Wednesday. I assume you have work, but maybe you can come back tonight?"

"Rajesh, I really like you. More than reason says I should, but I can't play these games with you. It hurts too much," Lincoln confessed.

"Then don't play them. Just come back tonight. Please," Raj begged.

Lincoln left without committing either way. Raj called into work and went to shower and then to bed. He was broken, but he would pick up the pieces. He would find a nice girl to start dating eventually. For now, he needed sleep.

Once the hangover was at least tolerable, Raj got up to air out his apartment. It smelled of booze and vomit and sweat. He spent most of the day cleaning. While he was changing his sheets, he thought he heard a knocking on his door. It wasn't Lincoln, he told himself. Only it was. With a pizza and a six-pack of ginger ale. No alcohol. Raj had had enough.

"You came back," Raj said. In that moment, Raj decided that he would do whatever he had to to keep Lincoln in his life. He knew he wasn't ready to tell all of his friends or family about this, but he would find a way to tell them. Raj was head over heels for this guy who was too good for him, but for some reason just kept showing up anyway.

"You look better," Lincoln said.

"I feel better. A lot better. Especially since you are here." Raj took the pizza and found some paper plates. He and Lincoln sat down to eat at his little table. It was as weird as dinner with a guy who one rejected multiple times could be, but it soon eased. Their conversation fell into a pattern that indicated that they knew each other much better than a couple dates.

They moved to the couch where they sat a reasonable distance apart while they put on a movie. That was until Raj moved closer and closer to Lincoln. Before long, Lincoln opened his arms for Raj, and they snuggled together. Lincoln thought about putting a stop to this because he didn't want his heart hurt any more than it was. On the other hand, a cute Indian guy was cuddled up to his chest, playing with his hands, and chatting about the movie. Maybe a little hurt was worth this.

Lincoln fell asleep first, and Raj thought about waking him up and sending him home. It was nearly two in the morning. Instead, he sleepily shook Lincoln awake and pulled him into his room.

"What are you doing?" Lincoln muttered when Raj started pulling back the blankets. Raj went to get Lincoln something to sleep in, but given that Lincoln was about five inches taller, he decided against it. Raj wasn't trying anything untoward. He only wanted to make sure Lincoln slept in a bed since he slept in Raj's chair the night before.

"You can sleep in here. I'll take the couch," Raj assured him. He tucked Lincoln into the bed and kissed his forehead. Then Raj grabbed his pajamas and went to the living room to go to sleep.

When Raj woke, it was to the sounds of Lincoln in the kitchen.

"Raj, where is the frying pan?" Lincoln asked after a moment.

"It's in the dishwasher right now," Raj said before covering his head with his pillow. How early was it? Even with the pillow, Raj could hear Lincoln getting out the frying pan. Though it wasn't until Raj smelled the bacon that he finally got off of the couch.

"I spend two nights in a row in your apartment, and I still haven't gotten lucky," Lincoln teased when Raj came over to see what Lincoln was up to.

"I feel pretty lucky," Raj said. "I have a handsome man making me breakfast."

"You probably have a handsome man burning you breakfast. I'm a terrible cook," Lincoln said. Just as he said this, he flipped over a piece of bacon to reveal it's burned side.

"Fine," Raj said as he pushed him out of the way to take over. They had breakfast together before Lincoln needed to get going.

Lincoln put his hands on Raj's waist. He leaned down and pressed a light kiss to Raj's waiting lips.

"You are going to break my heart, Rajesh Koothrappali," Lincoln said.

"Does that mean you are going to give me another chance?"

"You don't need another chance. I was yours since you stole that kiss in the bar. Now, answer my calls next time," Lincoln said.

"I will," Raj promised. And he did. It hadn't always been easy, but Raj couldn't say he regretted any of it. Certainly not when the man he loved rolled over in his sleep and rested his hand on Raj's stomach. Raj was happier than he had been in his life. All because he stole a kiss from a guy who couldn't find it in his heart to give up on him.


End file.
